You ve Gone and Used the Word Again So Easily
"Beingness lone never felt right. Sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right."
— Charles Bukowski
"This morning I felt lost and solitary as I was driving dwelling after a cruel breakup with my fellow. I turned on the radio and the Michael Jackson song 'Y'all Are Not Alone' was playing. A few seconds later, at the exact moment the chorus began, I passed a huge billboard sign with big black letters that read, 'YOU ARE Not Lonely!'"
That's the opening paragraph of an email I received today from a reader named Ella. It fabricated me smile because I love when life delivers seemingly coincidental, positive messages like that, right when we need them most.
Nonetheless, the rest of Ella'south email further described her ongoing struggle with feeling "lost and lonely" in life. Which got me thinking…
Why do people have to experience this fashion? What's the point of information technology all? Millions of people in this earth, all of them craving connection, and looking for specific experiences and people to satisfy them, nevertheless inadvertently isolating themselves in the process. Why? Was the planet put hither just to nourish our loneliness?
The more I've experienced and explored my own feelings of uncertainty and loneliness, the more I've realized how necessary these feelings are. It's adept for united states to spend time exploring unknowns, alone. It gives us an opportunity to discover who we actually are and what life is all about.
Here are some things to keep in heed when you lot feel lost and alone:
1. You lot are not alone in being lonely.
So many of us are fighting the aforementioned exact battle aslope you. We are all in this together. So no affair how embarrassed or pathetic you feel near your own state of affairs, know that at that place are others out there experiencing the same emotions. When yous hear yourself say, "I am all alone," it'south just your worried mind trying to sell you lot a lie. At that place'due south always someone who can chronicle to you. Perchance you lot can't immediately talk to them, just they are out there, and that's all you lot need to know right now.
2. Sometimes when you're alone, you need to be lonely.
Sometimes you need to be alone, not to be lonely, but to enjoy a little complimentary time merely being yourself and finding your way. In other words, the moments you experience lonely are the moments you may most need to be past yourself. This is one of life'due south cruelest ironies.
We demand confinement, because when nosotros're lonely we're detached from obligations, we don't need to put on a show, and nosotros can hear our own thoughts and feel what our intuition is telling united states. And the truth is, throughout your life in that location volition be times when the earth gets real tranquility and the only thing left is the beat of your ain middle. And so you'd ameliorate learn the audio of it, otherwise you lot'll never sympathize what it's telling yous. (Read Quiet: The Power of Introverts.)
iii. You lot have to be a picayune lost first to find what you lot're looking for.
Not until you are lost in this earth can you begin to find your best path. Realizing you are lost is the first footstep to living the life you want. The second pace is leaving the life you don't desire. Making a big life change is pretty scary. But you know what'south even scarier? Regret.
I tin can tell you lot from my ain life experience that I've plant love, lost it, found it, lost it and so I found it once once again. But each time what I found was more incredible than the last. And then call back that anybody suffers in life at some signal. Everyone feels lost sometimes. The key is using your experiences to abound. When y'all employ what you're learning to your future choices and actions, y'all move forward not backward. You become stronger and wiser. It's not easy, merely it'south worth it in the end.
4. It'southward all about accepting the reality of what is.
You cannot find peace by avoiding life. Life spins with unexpected changes; and so instead of avoiding it, take every change and experience as a challenge for growth. Either information technology will give you what you want or information technology volition teach you what the next stride is. And remember, finding peace in life does non hateful to be in a place where there is no racket, no challenges, and no hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things while remaining calm in your middle.
Honestly, life is too short to spend at war with yourself. The biggest disappointments in our lives are frequently the result of misplaced expectations. Letting go of needless expectations is your beginning step to happiness. Come from a mindset of peace and credence, and you tin can deal with almost anything and grow beyond it.
5. In every situation, You choose your attitude.
Be determined to exist positive. Understand that the greater function of your misery or unhappiness is adamant non by your circumstances, but by your attitude. A happy person is not a person who'due south ever in a proficient situation, but rather a person who always has a proficient attitude in every situation. So smile at those who often endeavor to begrudge or injure you; show them what'due south missing in their life and what they can't take away from you. Doing then doesn't mean forgetting or giving in, it means you choose happiness over hurt. (Read Buddha's Encephalon.)
half-dozen. Being alone does non mean you are solitary, and being lonely does non mean you are lone.
The problem is not ever in being solitary; it's being solitary in the presence of others. One tin can be lonely in the midst of a crowd. Wouldn't you agree? So keep this in mind and choose your relationships wisely. Information technology'south always better to be solitary than to exist in bad company. And when you do determine to come back for someone, do then considering you lot're truly better off with this person. Don't practise information technology just for the sake not being lone.
7. Everyone you lot care about does NOT need to support your decisions.
Friends and family unit won't ever support your goals, simply you must pursue them anyway. Follow your intuition. Following your intuition means doing what feels right, even if it doesn't look or sound right to others. Merely fourth dimension will tell, but our human instincts are rarely wrong. Fifty-fifty if things don't turn out as you anticipated, at least you won't have to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been. So don't worry most what everyone else thinks; just go on living and speaking your truth.
Ultimately, you lot know yous're on the right runway in life when you become uninterested in looking back, and eager to have the next step, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
8. You are not who you lot used to be, and that's OK.
You've been hurt; you've gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you lot who you are today. Over the years, so many things have happened – things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes, nobody stays the same, simply some people will still tell you that y'all have inverse. Reply to them past proverb, "Of course I've changed. That'due south what life is all about. I'm still the same homo, but a little stronger now than I ever was before."
nine. The best you lot can do changes from twenty-four hour period to day.
Always practice your all-time. And realize that "your best" is going to change repeatedly. For case, it volition be different when y'all are salubrious as opposed to sick.
Under any circumstance, but do your best in the nowadays moment and you will avert cocky-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. And think that no matter what's happening, you can efficiently fight the battles of just today. It's just when you add together the battles of those two abysmal eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated. Information technology'due south necessary, therefore, to let yourself live simply one day at a time – only today – just correct here, right now. And exercise the best you can in it. (Angel and I hash out this in more detail in the "Self_love" chapter of 1,000 Lilliputian Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
10. Information technology all matters in the terminate – every step, every regret, every smiling, and every struggle.
The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in loftier school. The evenings you spent socializing with colleagues you never encounter anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or non you lot're good plenty just the style you are. All of this has strengthened yous. All of this has led you to every success you've ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
The flooring is yours…
What helps you stay positive when y'all experience lost and alone? What's something encouraging you endeavor to proceed in mind when you're up against lots of doubtfulness? Exit a comment beneath and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Footling Zoker
Source: https://www.marcandangel.com/2014/03/19/10-things-to-remember-when-you-feel-lost-and-alone/
0 Response to "You ve Gone and Used the Word Again So Easily"
Post a Comment